


For Charity!

by catlockholmes, palhomo



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Office, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, M/M, Officestuck, Romance, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-20
Updated: 2012-11-20
Packaged: 2017-11-19 03:52:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catlockholmes/pseuds/catlockholmes, https://archiveofourown.org/users/palhomo/pseuds/palhomo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John operates a kissing booth in the office for charity. Karkat is not impressed.</p>
<p>Very loosely based on the UK version of The Office.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For Charity!

**Author's Note:**

> Just a short thing we came up with when watching The Office. Catlockholmes did the illustrations, Palhomo wrote the fic.

Okay, so the idea of John Egbert running a kissing booth was pretty much the most ridiculous thing Karkat had ever heard. Even if it  _was_  for charity, who the hell would want to kiss John of all people? There was nothing appealing about John: he was the office clown, pulling downright retarded and completely unfunny pranks; his too-bright suits barely fit his skinny ass; and he made it his mission to antagonise Karkat on a daily basis. 

Yet somehow, people were  _queuing up_  to get a smooch from him. Frankly, it was a little sickening. Vriska heading over was a given considering her huge crush on him. Eridan was a given too, considering his huge crush on, well, just about anyone. Then his sister Jade got a kiss on the cheek. Nepeta actually licked his cheek, Rose popped a boonbuck into the jar, and Dave stopped by for a “bro makeout”. John actually looked a little terrified when Terezi approached him. Over the course of the day, John engaged in sloppy makeouts with Equius, Feferi, Aradia, and even Meenah and Jake from the floor above. Seeing him chuckle and plant a kiss on  _Gamzee_ , his  _moirail_ , was the final straw.  

Kissing booths; what a shitty way to raise money for charity. It wasn’t even a proper booth, he was just sat behind his fucking desk! Karkat knew it was some charity day when they were all meant to be raising money for dying orphans or whatever, but he still felt,  _very strongly_ , that it was inappropriate behaviour for the workplace.  Besides, the very concept of kissing booths seemed to cheapen the  _romance_  of kissing. Didn’t anyone care about romance anymore? 

Still, that didn’t stop Karkat from rolling up at the end of the day. After checking to make sure the rest of his colleagues had already left, of course. The last thing he needed was Eridan or Gamzee bringing this up, ever. 

“Look, here’s a boonbuck. For the charity or whatever. Not that it will even go to any grubs from this country ANYWAY…” 

“Well, so long as it goes to someone who needs it! So, uh, where do you want your kiss?” 

Karkat did his best to give him a look of disgust. “I’m just contributing to the charity effort, Egbert. The last thing I want is to engage in grisly makeouts with your hideously grotesque face.”

“Woah, who said anything about  _makeouts_? You might be getting a little carried away there, Karkat.” He was grinning at him, a sparkle of amusement in his eyes.  “We do have to kiss, though. Those are the RULES.” 

“Rules? What a load of bullshit, there aren’t any-” Before Karkat could point out that Kanaya had totally put money in the jar without snogging anyone, he was being pulled into a kiss. Oh. Well, okay. This was a little different to John’s usual attitude towards him. John was the shittiest kisser ever, but it was sort of nice. It beat having his stapler enclosed in jelly, anyway. 

“There are totally rules, Karkat. PROCEDURES!” John was trying to act nonchalant, but Karkat was couldn’t help but notice a slight red tint to his cheeks. Which definitely hadn’t been there when he kissed Dave. “You have to follow them, dude. It is for charity.”  

“Whatever. Are you going to the pub with the rest of assholes in the office?”

“I dunno. Are you?”

“I suppose.”

John grinned again. “Sure. I’ll get my coat.”

 


End file.
